BULLYING AND ESTEEM

'How can I stand up to bullies AND exert a little more control in situations that are important to me? This is not unusual.........we all go through this all the time until we fix it ourselves by saying to ourselves "enough is enough' and become more able to resist the pressure and dominance of excessively dominant people. The fact is that most excessively dominant people are usually bullies. Bullies are deep-down very insecure people. The bully gets his or her own way. They dominate because they are too insecure to allow other people to have responsibility and influence, over them, like FEUDALISM one of our sociological problem. It is not a natural behaviour for those who are not naturally assertive TO SUPPRESS those who tend to be passive by nature. The assertive behaviour of highly dominant people ( bully's) tends to be driven by their personality, they have severe problem of insecurity. It is not something that they have been 'trained' but circumstances compell them to satisfying their ego and selfishness that drives them to get their own way.... to control, to achieve status, to manipulate, make decisions, build empires, to collect material signs of achievement, monetary wealth, and particularly to establish protective mechanisms, such as 'yes-men' followers. Immunity from challenge and interference, scrutiny, judgement, etc such conditions make them into becoming over dominating. They are not nice people because a 'Good person" does not 'dominate' non-assertive people. They always include others and involve them in doing what they do. Dominance as a style is not good in any circumstances, it fails completely to make effective use of team-members' abilities and their potential weak. ( putting their esteem down)
The key to break this is not really so hard, just use simple techniques that can even be quite enjoyable and fulfilling such as......... don't be fooled into thinking that you always have to be more assertive, you can be non-assertive and that is normal. Just understand where you want to be in life.: what level of assertiveness do you want for yourself? whether to defend yourself or to control your own choices and destiny, and not to control others. Feel sympathy for bullies - they actually need it. build your self-confidence....by reading inspirational things that reinforce your faith and proper values in your own natural style...do not speak unless you ensure that you know all the facts in advance.... Anticipate other people's behaviour and prepare your own responses...be smart in doing that.....use good questions to expose flaws in other people's arguments or else do not say anything sit quietly. .. Find out what your strengths and style are and use them to defend and support your position....have faith in your ability and see how it works to your advantage. .